Heavy Heart

I lost my soul-mate today at approximately 1:30 this afternoon.  It all happened so fast.  I was the one who found him.  I can’t fathom a life without him.  I am so sad, so very sad.

Life…

For those who have been reading my blog, I want to thank you for all the kind comments and prayers you have sent me.

We found out today Jeff is being called home.  Cancer has spread throughout his skeletal system and treatment has ceased.  He has been put on hospice.  I have prayed hard for a miracle, but it must not be in God’s plan.  My heart is so heavy and sad for Jeff, and for Jeff’s mother..and for myself.

There is so much I want to say and do, but I am exhausted.  I love Jeff with all I have in me.

Tomato Basil Dressing

Alas, another Cooking Channel inspiration.  This one comes courtesy of a show called Lose 5 lbs.  Now, I half watched this show, half did dishes.  I heard what she was doing, but actually did not see what she was doing.  All I knew was I was sick of Newman’s Own olive oil and vinegar salad dressing I had been eating the past 21 days and wanted a change.

I tried to make a mental note of what she was using and adjusted to what I had on hand.  I could’ve googled the recipe, but I wanted to see how close I could come using what I had. I did a pretty good job.  I think I’ll make my own salad dressing from now on.

Supplies:

• 1 small can of low sodium V8 juice (she used a 1/2 c, I used the whole can)
• 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar (she used red wine)
• 1 packet truvia (she used granulated sugar)
• 1 tablespoon brown mustard (she used dijon..I didn’t have any and didn’t want to use yellow)
• Salt and Pepper (we both used fresh ground)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• Fresh basil, chopped (she used 1 tablespoon, I used more…I like basil!)

Whisk it all together and there you have it.  The show website says it is 30 calories per 2 tablespoons of dressing (that’s a lot..really!)

 

Morning Waffle Sandwich

I was channel surfing yesterday and came across a show on the Cooking Channel called Hungry Girl.  Let me back track for a minute here.  I am coming off a 21 day Daniel Fast that I did with my church.  For 21 days I had no meat, dairy, animal product, sugar, white flours, stuff like that. The only beverage I had was water.  By yesterday, I was so ready for some food.

So back to Hungry Girl.  It’s a show hosted by a lady around my age, who teaches you how to cook/shop low-fat and low-cal. I can get into that since I just lost 20 lbs and want to keep the weight loss momentum going.  This episode featured a breakfast sandwich called the Morning Waffle Dip (I left the dip out of my sandwich. I personally don’t like to dip egg sandwiches into maple syrup).  I knew that was what I wanted for my first post-fast meal.  It was soooo good!

Basically the sandwich is egg beaters, bacon and fat free cheese stuffed between two toasted multi-grain waffles.  Easy!  I was a little sketch about the egg beaters, but they were good, real good.  On the show, she had a small serving of sugar-free maple syrup to dip your sandwich into if you so desire.

Supplies:

• 2 whole-grain or multi-grain waffles, toasted
• 1/2 c egg beaters
• 1 slice thick cut bacon, fried
• 1 slice fat-free American Cheese

Fry up your bacon and set aside on a paper towel to absorb any grease.  Microwave your egg beaters in a microwave safe bowl for a minute on high. Stir, then cook for another minute.  Toast your waffles.

Place the cheese on a warm waffle, layer the eggs then bacon. Top with other waffle and slice in half.  For under 300 calories, this one is definitely a keeper. Enjoy!

*Update on Jeff:  He did 4 months of Carbo/Taxil that seemed to work and shrunk his tumors down to the size of a pea. The day after New Years we were told it had stopped working.  We prayed for Jeff to get the new melanoma drug Yervoy and our prayers were answered.  He stared Yervoy Jan 16th.  Jeff’s body isn’t taking to it so well and is experiencing every side effect possible.  He wound up in the ER with a urinary tract infection and a possible case of hepatitis.  He has an MRI  tomorrow evening to see if the tumors in his spine are pinching nerves causing him the severe back/leg pain he is having.  He has been laid up in bed going on 4 weeks now.  He may not get to continue with Yervoy (his last saving grace).  I will be praying HARD that Jeff gets to continue with Yervoy (his other option is nothing, wait it out until he needs hospice).  So if you are a believer, say a prayer for Jeff.

A Hiatus Of Sorts…

We found out today that instead of Jeff having 1-2 years, he may only have 1-2 months.  His cancer is growing at a pace that boggles his oncologist’s mind.  Jeff’s mother and I were overwhelmed today to say the least.

He will be getting a double shot of chemo on Monday.  His doctor says the chances his body will accept it are slim.  Three weeks from Monday we will know.  If his body doesn’t accept chemo and his tumors do not shrink, then it’s comfort care.

I can’t wrap my head around the concept of watching someone die.  Someone I  love.  I have yet to deal with the fact I may have to give up the house.  It’s all too much.  The last thing on my mind is cooking.  At least today.

Every bad emotion a human can have, I have.  It sucks.

So for the five or so people that read this blog   I may or may not be updating for a little while, it all depends on what happens with Jeff.

It’s a supposed hiatus meaning, If I feel it may sooth my soul I will make something awesome and share it with you all.  But for right now, even cooking isn’t soothing my soul.  We shall see.

Keep your fingers crossed Jeff’s body accepts chemo and tumors start shrinking.  It’s been nothing but bad news, after bad news. Some good news would be nice.

Thank you for reading.

Sarah

Pan Seared Potatoes w/ a Basil-Garlic Aoili

There is something about potatoes that makes me happy.  They are the ultimate comfort food.  I don’t think I will ever tire of them. I just so happen to have gotten some pretty new potatoes in my CSA box and decided to whip myself up some for a late night supper.

I decided to steam them to cook them, then pan seared them in olive oil.  This gave the potatoes a creamy center with a wonderful crispy outside. Yum!  I made a quick aoili with some left over lemon basil to top it all off.

Supplies:

• New potatoes, cleaned and cut in half
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• S&P

For the Aoili:

• 1/2 C low-fat mayo
• 3 garlic cloves
• 1 handful basil
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• S&P
• Skim milk (optional)

Steam your potatoes until you can stick a knife in the center easily.  Let cool to room temperature.

In a large skillet add potatoes to hot oil cut side down.  Don’t touch and let sear for 2-3 minutes or until a nice golden brown. Flip over and sear the other side.  Transfer to a paper towel lined plate, sprinkle with salt and pepper and set aside.

To make the aioli:

In a food processor chop the basil and garlic together until fine.  Add to mayo and add lemon juice.  Mix together well and season with salt and pepper to your liking.  I like my aoili on the thinner side to make it more like a sauce so I add skim milk until I get my desired consistency.

Spoon aoili over warm potatoes and thoroughly enjoy!

 

CSA Thursday

I haven’t posted in a while, I do apologize.  Cancer has taken over our lives.  Jeff has gone from a stage 3 to a stage 4.  His melanoma has mets to his liver.  There are options, but they are few.  I struggle to keep hope alive, but I must.  We meet again with his oncologist next week to see what the next course of action is.  He will *hopefully* be meeting with a melanoma specialist in Madison. I hope this doctor can help him.  I hope he can keep Jeff around for a very long time.  As for me, I am tired.  Down right exhausted.  I have been living in constant fear and worry.  I have a lot to lose.

One of the things that brings Jeff joy is fetching my CSA boxes every Thursday.  He has really changed his eating habits and has grown to love the produce I get from Highcross Farm as much as I do.  When Jeff is happy, I am happy.  Farmer Steve and Kath have no idea how much joy they bring my family in what they do. For that I am eternally grateful.

With that being said…

In the box this week:

• Tomatoes
• Carrots
• Red chili pepper
• I am in love with the baby watermelon
• Savory
• Red potatoes
• Red Pac Choi
• Squash

CSA Scramble

I’m really starting to get into this concept they call breakfast.  I love the alone time I get when I cook breakfast. No phones, no kid’s friends in and out, no noise period. I love it.  I use this time to meditate, introspect and yes, pray.  There is a lot on my plate right now (excuse the pun hehe) and cooking has been soothing my soul.

This morning I decided to clean out the refrigerator.  I had some left over Canadian bacon, some left over potatoes that were in my prior week’s CSA box, some mozzarella cheese, and 2 lonely tortillas.  Add in some farm fresh eggs, onions and peppers from my awesome CSA box and Jeff and I had one heck of a yummy breakfast.

It’s a little difficult to put measurements to this recipe since I used up what I had for left overs, but I’ll do my best.

Supplies:

• 4 eggs
• 2 slices mozzarella cheese, diced
• 1 bell pepper, diced
• 1 onion, diced
• 3 slices Canadian bacon, diced
• 10 small red potatoes, precooked and cut in half
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• S & P to taste
• 2 tortillas

In a large skillet sautee peppers and onion in olive oil until they just start to turn soft.  Add potatoes and Canadian bacon and cook until heated through.

Crack eggs over ham/potatoes/veg and scramble everything together.  Add cheese and toss until cheese starts to melt and eggs are cooked to your liking.  Add salt and pepper.

Place on top of a warm tortilla and enjoy!

Good Morning

Welcome to my morning routine. Coffee and internet. This morning I added melon to the mix courtesy of Highcross Farm.

What’s your morning routine?

Simple Tomato Sauce

Tomato sauce doesn’t have to be complicated, especially when you have a busy schedule like I do.  With the freshest ingredients you can get and a bit of patience you will be rewarded with you won’t believe you did it yourself and from scratch.

Included in my CSA box were some tomatoes in various sizes and colors.  I particularly like the baby Romas.  Also in the box was some amazing Thai basil.  I decided to make a sauce to compliment the bucatini I got at Glorioso’s (the best Italian market in the state!).

This recipe is inspired by Martha Stewarts Spaghetti 101 episode.  With this recipe, everything is fresh, nothing is canned. I love this recipe for its simplicity.  I’m not stirring sauce all day (not that there is anything wrong with that. I just don’t have the time).  I can get dinner on the table at a decent time and everyone is happy.  I also love how versatile this sauce recipe is.  You can adjust any of the ingredients to your liking. My family loves it when I amp up the garlic and red pepper flakes.

If you are pressed for time and craving a pasta dish.  Try this one out.

Supplies:

• Fresh tomatoes (I had 4 regular sized and 7 baby romas), pureed (more on that below)
• 5 garlic gloves, chopped
• 1 handful of fresh basil, chopped or thrown in whole
• 1 teaspoon fresh oregano, chopped
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 2 tablespoon olive oil
• red pepper flakes (a little goes a long way, adjust to your liking.  Start of light with a dash, you can always add more later)
• 1/8-1/4 C good red wine (If it’s not good enough to drink, it’s not good enough to cook with)
• S&P to taste

First thing you need to do is take your fresh tomatoes and turn them into a puree.  I prefer taking the skins off the tomatoes. You don’t have to, but it does make for a nice smooth sauce. Taking the skins off a tomato isn’t as daunting as it sounds; in fact it’s pretty simple and quick.  Take a paring knife and cut an X on the bottom of each tomato.

Place your tomatoes into a pot of boiling water.  You only need to keep them in the water for a minute at most.  When you pinch (very carefully they are HOT)  the tomato and the skins slide, take them out of the water and put into a colander to cool down to where you can handle them freely.  The skins will slide ride off.  Easy!

Place skinned tomatoes into a food processor, food mill, blender whathaveyou.  Puree.  You can do a smooth puree or you can leave it a bit chunky. Your choice.

In a large sautee pan, sautee onions until translucent. Add garlic and sautee until the garlic is soft.

Add red pepper flakes, tomato puree and red wine to onions and garlic.  Stir until thoroughly mixed, simmering on medium heat.   Now is a good time to season with salt and pepper.  This is the stage when I determine if I need to add more red pepper flake or not.

Add the oregano and basil and let the sauce simmer on medium-low heat. It will start to thicken up (but not much) and look and smell amazing.

This sauce won’t be a thick sauce like you get in a can or jar. It will be on the thin side and will coat pasta nicely.   If you aren’t comfortable with a thinner pasta sauce, you could use a tablespoon of tomato paste to thicken it up a bit. I personally don’t think it needs it.  Again, preference.

The taste is incredibly fresh.  You really get flavor of the tomato.  I love the kick of heat you get and all that wonderful garlic.  Sprinkle some fresh parm on top and serve with piping hot garlic bread and enjoy!